Pokemon: SG-1
by razory
Summary: SG-1 gets addicted to Pokemon, and Teal'C's the guy who's gotta pull him out of it. Silly fun :D


Pokemon: SG-1  
  
AN: This story is also in Heliopolis, the best darned SG1 archive there is under the pen name Samantha Sola. Alright? :D  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stargate SG-1, or Pokemon. If I did, the world would be a very sad place and none of you would want to live in it.  
  
  
"I will be the very best.. the best there ever was..." Daniel woke with a start and fell out of his chair. He had forgotten that he had fallen asleep in his chair, not in a bed like he had previously hoped.  
  
"I will put them to the test! To train them is my cause.." Okay, now this was getting annoying. Daniel ventured out into the hallway to find out the source of this terrible anomaly, er, disturbance.  
  
"POKEMON! GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!" This lyric was greeted by off-key yelling that sounded suspiciously like Teal'C. Daniel stopped outside of the doorway to Major Carter's room, where the terrible sound seemed to be coming from.  
  
"YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEACH YOU! POKEMON!!!" Daniel cringed. This had to stop. He burst into the room, and gasped with horror. Teal'C was glued to the TV, which was displaying disturbing images of a small yellow mouse-like creature that continuously screamed "PIKACHU!" for no apparent reason. Carter and O'Neill were sitting on the floor, going through a huge stack of cards. Carter picked one up and waved it in O'Neill's face.  
  
"Eevee. This Pokemon can evolve into one of three Pokemon, such as Vaporeon, Flareon, and Jolteron." Satisfied, she shoved the card into her deck.  
  
O'Neill frowned. "So? I have this cool fish thing." He showed a card to Carter, who snorted.  
  
"That's a Magikarp. That's the most useless and annoying Pokemon ever."  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"IS NOT!"  
  
"IS TOO!"  
  
"Whuh?" asked Daniel.  
  
"FIGHT!" yelled Carter. Daniel was prepared to jump in there and attempt to break them apart, no matter how futile that might be, when both Carter and O'Neill whipped out Game Boy Colors and turned them on. Annoying music floated through the room, and one of the Game Boys screamed "PIKACHU!" Daniel felt like marching across the room and breaking the Game Boys to pieces, but instead decided to check on Teal'C.  
  
"Teal'C, what's going on?" Daniel came to stand next to Teal'C, who was still glued to the TV.  
  
"DrFrasier's daughter has introduced us to Pokemon, DanielJackson. I find them quite intriguing." Teal'C said this without diverting his gaze from the TV.  
  
"Pokemon? What's a Pokemon?" Daniel spent most of his time on the base, with his face in front of a computer monitor. He had never really been around kids recently, so it was a valid question.  
  
A gasp filled the room. Carter and O'Neill stopped playing. Teal'c actually ripped his gaze from the TV and fixed it on Daniel. "You don't know what Pokemon are?" asked O'Neill incredulously.  
  
"Um, no.. should I?" Daniel was getting scared.   
  
"Uh, yeah! They're only the hottest thing since Tamagotchi!" O'Neill said.  
  
"Sir, Tamagotchi's have been passe for the last couple of years," muttered Carter.  
  
"You get my point. Come over here, Dannyboy. We'll show you how cool they are."  
  
"Join us, Daniel.." said Carter.  
  
"Join us. Join us. Join us," they droned.  
  
"NOOO!" screamed Daniel. He bolted from the room and ran down the hallway, and didn't stop until he had locked himself in his room. *It'll just blow over,* he told himself. *It's just like any of those other stupid fads. They'll continue to be obsessed with it for a day, then they'll get tired of it and abandon it. It'll be okay.* Satisfied with that, he threw himself on his bed and went to sleep.  
  
****  
  
The next morning, Daniel felt better. I bet they've gotten sick of Pokemon already, he thought happily. He walked jauntily down the hallway, whistling some unknown tune. He passed by Major Carter's room, and was horrified to notice that the door was still open. O'Neill had slumped against the wall, Carter was draped across the floor in an odd shape that couldn't have been comfortable, and Teal'C was leaning against the TV, which was still blaring the evil soundtrack of some lesser-known anime show. He stood there in shock, noticing that Carter and O'Neill were both holding onto their cards with a death grip. Daniel was just about to sprint to the infirmary and order an exorcism, when General Hammond appeared next to him.  
  
"Dr. Jackson?" He was obviously confused.  
  
"Um, I believe that SG-1 is addicted to Pokemon, General." Daniel felt slightly stupid, and with good reason. General Hammond probably hadn't heard of Pokemon, either.  
  
"Ah yes, I remember my niece saying something about them. Kids, eh?" Hammond didn't seem to notice that part of his best team was practically comatose, thanks to Nintendo and their evil minions. "Briefing in ten, Jackson." Hammond moseyed along to his own business, leaving Daniel with the unpleasant task of reviving SG-1. He gingerly stepped over a Charmander card and tapped O'Neill on the shoulder.   
  
"Misty is hot.." mumbled O'Neill. He opened his eyes. "Oh, hey Dannyboy. What time is it?"  
  
"Uh, it's only 0930. We have a briefing in ten minutes."  
  
O'Neill groaned. "Not another mission to a tree-laden planet. Oh no! We're going to miss the next episode of Pokemon!" Both Carter and Teal'C instantly woke up.   
  
"Nooo!!! NOOO!!!" cried Carter.  
  
"This is not acceptable!" yelled Teal'C.  
  
Just then, Hammond came by again, probably wondering why he was sitting in an empty briefing room by himself. "SG-1?"  
  
Daniel glanced at General Hammond. "Sir, they're still addicted to Pokemon.. I've tried everything. NOTHING WORKS! If the government keeps allowing shows like this to run, they risk turning America's children into brain-dead idiots!"  
  
Hammond whispered something to Daniel, then walked off. Daniel perked up. "Our mission is to infiltrate a Star Trek convention, where a Klingon is making a bomb.." he blurted.  
  
O'Neill stopped whining and looked at Daniel. "Star Trek?"  
  
Daniel nodded. "With the cast of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine signing autographs.."  
  
Carter jumped up. "DOCTOR BASHIR! I'm ready to go!" Her Pokemon cards fell to the floor, feeling sad and neglected. Oh well, the cards thought, at least she didn't fold us or spit on us.  
  
Teal'C lifted an eyebrow, which was good, because during the evil reign of Pokemon, he had forgotten that he even had eyebrows. "I enjoy Star Trek. The Bajorans are quite an interesting race, as is the existence of the wormhole.."  
  
"GOOD! LET'S GO!" yelled Daniel happily, sprinting down the hallway. O'Neill and Carter followed.  
  
Nobody noticed Teal'C slip a Vulpix card into his pocket.  
  
--FINE!-- 


End file.
